The cheeseboard, simplified

The supermarket cheeseboard is a study in over-engineering: nine cheeses, four chutneys, three crackers, a selection of dried fruits, two clusters of grapes, and a small wedge of pâté. Nothing is at peak temperature, nothing has been thought through.

A proper cheeseboard, in the British sense, is three cheeses chosen for contrast: a hard cheese, a softer or semi-soft cheese, and a blue. That’s it. Examples that work: a mature Cotswold cheddar, a creamy Sharpham brie, and a Stichelton. Or: a Lancashire, a Gubbeen washed-rind, and a Cropwell Bishop blue.

Serve at room temperature. This is the single most important rule. Cold cheese tastes muted; cold blue cheese tastes of nothing at all. Take everything out of the fridge an hour before you eat. If you’re running late, slice the cheeses thinly and lay them flat — they’ll come up to temp in fifteen minutes.

For the rest of the board: one good loaf (sourdough or rye), one preserve (quince, fig, or a sharp marmalade), and one pickle (cornichons, pickled walnuts, or piccalilli). No grapes. Grapes water down the cheese.